All about me!!

Yea right, like that’s going to happen!!

I’m sure I’ll talk about someone else, almost guaranteed to start a rant about mother dearest, but for some of this we’re talking about what I’ve done today!

I had a sore, red, itchy watery eye yesterday, I might have not mentioned that in all the madness and the fact I assumed it was an eyelash or something I honestly didn’t think much of it. When I woke up early this morning the plan, you may recall was to take my daughter safely to school…but I could not open my left eye. Not even a bit…And the normal sleep we all get was a layer of crusty harness that had glued my, very long and lovely eyelashes to those little under-lashes. It looked like a very little margarita-glass rim. With lovely warm and a cotton pad I eased it away, opened my eye and, HOLY SHIT IT BURNED IT BURNED!!!

Safe to say I did not walk my child to school, I held her home until quarter past eight, then sent her off knowing that she was deliberately late and would therefore hopefully not run into trouble.  Rang school to explain the tardiness. Then I rang the Dr for myself, something I really never do…to get an appointment as quickly as possible.  That was 3:20 this afternoon.

Now, brace yourselves….it’s the part of the day where I interacted with mother who did come home last night, well two o’clock in the morning more accurately and I was still awake…so I came down to let her in, and let the dog pee at the same time. I did speak to her, but ever so briefly….only to tell her to sort her shit out, and get to bed. I didn’t ask her anything or engage in any way that would give her the opportunity to lie to me. I am wise…..sometimes. I went back to bed, back to sleep….

Fast forward to about nine o’clock when I’m dressed and downstairs, she’s been mulling around while I’ve been getting ready. She didn’t even think to apologize for last night, ask how anyone is….least of all her grand daughter who was so extremely upset when she last saw her. I found out much later, just a few hours ago, that she did speak to her grand daughter this morning. But only to upset my child with nasty comments about how she’ll soon be gone….. again, leaving the statement vague and hanging to play on the sensitive child’s mind.

While I’m on the subject of the child….I did speak to her school again today about the things that happened yesterday. I was extremely unhappy with them and their attitude. Myself and Husband will be going in there on monday morning, so  instead of telling you our intentions now, I’ll  tell you the outcomes after that.

Look at me, getting off point again.

So she was asking me, this morning, in place of any sort of greeting…If I was going out or if I  would be in for AN HOUR so she could, once more go and see if she had money in her account….and not worry about missing her fucking phone coming in the post. She wants her phone because she wants to access facebook, she wants to access facebook to arrange hook-ups with her ex husband who, when I was younger….Literally tried to murder us both…oh and made my brother suicidal. Anyway if you’ve read the post I made a few nights ago just here you’ll fully understand why her asking me to wait in for her  delivery if utterly fucking laughable. I mean I think she’s TRYING to take the piss.  So I snarkily told her that, while I had no current plans to go anywhere, anything could happen.

That is all the contact I have had with her today, There wasn’t even a thank you, fuck yourself, kiss my arse, nothing. I’m fine with that, I’m less fine with the fact it is now…. half nine at night and no-one knows where she is. She has until mid day tomorrow and I will then report her missing, but all I can do is try not to focus on that right now and wait until I can legally do something. 24 hours at least is the rule, isn’t it?

Anyway until then, and maybe after then I’m busy tomorrow. Because at my doctors appointment this afternoon, The doctor has no idea whats wrong with my eye. It’s not looking like conjunctivitus, sudden hayfever or anything else they usually deal with. She did look in there with her torch and could see nothing other than a lot of red swelling. She was concerned to say the least, she doesn’t like the idea of how painful it is and how much my vision is affected and that there seems to be a sort of fogginess when I open that eye. She tried to get me in to see a specialist but they can’t see me until monday….and she doesn’t want me to wait until monday. She has written her medical-jargony-concerns in a note to take with me to the eye department of the the local hospital tomorrow, So I will. I’m not a fan of hospitals but I’m also not a fan of not seeing properly and being in pain. I have a make-shift eye patch on which, let me tell you…makes this whole blogging less easy-breezy as it usually is! and makes me look like a confused pirate.

I’m worried about me, but I’m also worried about where the fuck my mother is. There’s no way to find out either. She only knows a very VERY small number of people in this town, and all of them would’ve told me if they’d seen her. I suspect she got paid in the end and found a pub….but I have to try not to let myself imagine where she could be and what she could be doing.

Yea right, like that’s going to happen!!

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