Nothing has gone the way I expected it to today, and thank fuck for that!!
The day began with a text message from J, saying that as well as the stuff she thought my mum stole last night ten pounds had gone as well. Obviously she believes mentalmummy took that too. I told her that it wasn’t my problem, I reminded her I had warned her some time ago not to trust the woman and said “you need to under I’m not getting involved anymore” . Then the first unexpected thing happened… She demonstrated a level of maturity not seen from her before. She says she didn’t want me to get involved and she only wishes she had listened to me, I pointed out that when you don’t want or expect a person to get involved in your business you don’t tell them it!
Husband was supposed to be unwell today, I mean he was scheduled for a colonoscooy tomorrow so he was going to have to take some meds that would have made him a feel shit today… But the colonoscooy has had to be postponed (ironically because of the issue that caused the Dr to request a colonoscooy). The delay isn’t a good thing but in an effort to find the silver lining….. at least husband was able to drink and eat today. And I was able to use the bathroom when needed.
I expected to go to my allotment and paint inside my new shed, it’s going to be a summer house type shed by the time I’m done…. No tools allowed. There was no rain forecast at all, so naturally it rained enough to put an end to any notions of painting for today. Instead I got busy making things the way I want them, and planning. A friend gave me shelf/bench to have my kettle and things on, and I adjusted that to fit perfectly where I want it. Now it’s going to be far better than it would have been.
I expected my girlfriend to be in extremely stressed tonight after work. Two people she works with were supposed to get laid off which obviously never creates a nice environment for anyone around when it happens and it’s harder when you care about the person who lost their job. Only one of them did get laid off though, and it was handled in such a way, from what she tells me that it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could’ve been. I’m happy that her day went better than expected too.
Nothing has happened, it really has been such a normal day. There have been no huge dramas, nothing to trigger the floods of negative emotions I’ve been so flattened by recently. I am so grateful for a day without anger, rage and aggressiveness. Void of upset, shame and bleakness.
Not filled with joy and laughter and cause to celebrate ….. But just, unexpectedly good.