The happiest day of the year. That’s not my assessment, it’s what the radio told me all day while I tidied and sorted. I don’t know where they got their information, but I am certainly happy. The room is dark, there’s a quiet hum from a laptop with Netflix playing. And a woman who… Continue reading Traffic.
Colourless Confetti without a joyous occasion to celebrate, released into the dark-blue black hole that is paper recycling
It was just an argument, based on family and home life that despite our unorthodox extra marital relationships and genuinely mentally unstable families had nothing to do with anyone but him and me….but at the time and for a few hours after it was all over, it really did feel to me like a major life crisis.
I had a lazy day, and even though I know that’s fine and I’m allowed to I feel shit for it. I hate being grumpy and moody when I don’t know or understand the source of it, I know it’ll be clear to me in a day or two but until then I just feel annoyed at myself for letting emotions I can’t even explain get the better of my day.
Nothing has happened, it really has been such a normal day. There have been no huge dramas, nothing to trigger the floods of negative emotions I’ve been so flattened by recently.
I don’t think I believe my own mother. I know her well, so very well. I know how convincingly she can lie too. I am going to try not to get dragged into this, but I will. I just know I fucking will.
Once more I am just utterly worn out, and half asleep already. But tonight it’s from a very good day. I spent time at my allotment, with my daughter, husband and dog. Mother showed up just before we left and of course had done, and did more things to annoy me or piss me off.… Continue reading Physical Exhaustion